Thoughts about glasses

So the old saw goes:

A pessimist says the glass is half empty,
An optimist says the glass is half full,

What does everyone else say?

A Buddhist says there is no glass and next time it'll be a bottle anyway,
An Atheist says that this is the only glass you're going to get, so make the most of it,
A Cubist can see both sides of the glass at the same time, and doesn't really care that there is water in it,
An Egoist says that the water is his and isn't it beautiful,
A Cultist sets up a small shrine to the glass and calls his group The Sect of the Indeterminate Water Vessel,
A Dentist wonders if the water has flouride in it,
A Fascist says its no wonder it isn't full, its a green glass,
A Dualist is more concerned with the essence of the unseen half, which she says is necessary to make meaningful assessments of the world in general and morality in particular,
A Tourist takes a photo and shows all his friends back home so that they can see that a glass, with some water in it, is different over there,
A Sadist just wants to hit the glass with a mallet,
An Anarchist takes the mallet, and tries to smash the glass, while,
An Ethicist debates the moral implications of destroying the glass of water and whether, as only half-filled glass, it should be granted the same privileges as a full glass,
An Eulogist composes a short, but touching, poem to commemorate the glass, should it be destroyed,
A Lobbyist petitions the governement to create a protected zone for glasses of water so that they can be free of the destructive nature of modern progressive society, meanwhile,
A Realist, see the glass, drinks the water and leaves.

Posting about posters

One of the things I noticed in India when I came here briefly in 2002 was the posters advertising films. They are almost exclusively devoted to the locally made films, the Indian film industry is more prolific than any other, and they are absolutely everywhere. You can barely drive two minutes in the countryside without seeing at least one poster on someone's wall and I doubt I have ever been in any town or city here where I couldn't see a movie poster at all times.
Indian public advertising in general leaves is Australian namesake in the shade for invasivness and ubiquity, private residences are frequently painted (hopefully with the consent and remuneration of the owners) with the logos, slogans and corporate colours of mobile phone companies, paint vendors, silk emporia and cement manufacturers, all vieing for your attention with their dazzling marketing splendor. As if their wasn't enough to make you eyes pop in the country.

But the movie posters in particular caught my eye. Most are not very large, maybe A3 size of so, but the combination of colour, odd looking text and occasional Indlish phrases hooked me. Some of them had large numbers on them as well, which I discovered latter was the amount of time in days of weeks that the movie had been running in theatres. Usually you could tell from the number which is was, but I figured out that movies made in the local industry, usually had text exclusively in Malayalam and counted in days, films from other states often had english text and usually used weeks.



How can you not love a poster that asks, no implores, you to 'Feel the Army'? Given the trouble the Australian Army is having getting new recruits, perhaps they should try this as a slogan. Hmmm, maybe not. This film is apparently a true story based on the life of a real Indian military hero who fought in the Kashmir region and was awarded the highest military decoration in India, their equivalent to the VC.

Check these three out:





You could be forgiven for thinking that the is an actor in Kerala with an extraordinarily prolific career. As one guy from our team here put it, they all seem to star the same round-faced, moustached and slightly over weight bloke. They are, in fact, different actors; but it's another way to tell the local movies from the out-of-state ones, if this guy or one of his octuplets is the lead, its probably a Malaylee film.

And just to give you an idea of what they look like in their natural habitat, here's a corner shop wall in the nearest large town, Kollam:



More in the usual place.

In other news, today was Indian Independence Day. Lots of celebrations, no work and an impromptu night visit from the constabulary. Last night I respond to a knock at the door to find six Indian policemen at my threshold. After a second of 'Shit, what local custom have I inadvertently broken', the police asked if they could come in and the manager appeared from nowhere and mentioned the following day's festivities. All became clear. Anti-terrorist sweeps of the hotel rooms of foreign nationals. Given the recent English arrests, Mumbai bombing, fighting in Sri Lanka and ongoing unrest between India and Pakistan, it seemed like they weren't taking any chances. They looked around, without touching anything, asked me some questions about where I was from and when I was returning home. In retrospect, my reply: 'I'm leaving on Friday', probably wasn't the best for instilling confidence, but they seemed unperturbed, shook my hand, thanked me and left. Not sure they even checked the bathroom.

Stop me if you've heard this one...

A South African and two Australians go for a walk and they find a creek with two elephants having a coconut scrub and a pedicure...

No, not a bad joke, last Sunday the three of us went for a elephant ride. We drove down past Kollam, the nearest large town to a small creek where they had two elephants available for rides. When we arrived they were giving the big guys a good scrub with pieces of coconut husk and encouraged us to join in. So I did:



And then John lent a hand:



Their hide was very different to what I was expecting. Dark grey, almost black, and springy to the touch with long, coarse, black hairs all over. The wrinkles varied in shape and depth. In some places, like across the spine, the skin was tight and shiny. Here and there patches of pale pink skin stood out vividly against the dark field, apparently scars don't completely heal on elephants either.

When bath time was over, I got a proper feel for how big these guys are:



As he started to come towards me I had to fight a strong urge to back away. Scrubbing the big guy when he was lying down was one thing, having him lumber towards you, even with the handlers around, was something else. But he seemed completely unconcerned by our presence, which encouraged us to come up close and pat him.



Hansie wanted to be sure that this was a Genuine Indian Elephant, so, being from a land of elephants, he knew just the right method. Clown.



The ride was amazing fun, even at a walking pace. The handler gave me a piece of red cloth tied to the rope around the elephant's neck and I thought: "What do I need this for, we aren't going to be going that fast are we?" When he stood up, front legs first and I nearly slide straight back over his arse, it all became clear. The three of us rode together and the shoulder position at the front is definitely more comfortable that further back.



I felt kind of uncomfortable at first, being so far from the ground on what amounts to a flexible, moving platform. Horse riders probably take all this in their stride (so to speak), but it was a very odd experience for me, but lots of fun. None of us could keep the grins off our faces for the whole ride.Definitely one to remember.

The rest of the photos (and larger versions of the above) are over here.

Don't drink the local water, or the local Coke.

It's pretty much a travelling mantra; don't drink the local water, it's full of nasties that will play havoc with you guts and leave you stranded in some dog-forsaken public toilet one fine afternoon with fluid leaving you from every orifice it can find. And as someone who has suffered despite taking these precautions, its the kind of advice I'd heartily endorse. Sometimes you're told that if you can't get bottled water, try getting some softdrinks instead. Since the water used to make the drink is processed during bottling, all the bugs are gone and it might help replace the salt and sugar you lost sweating your way around the tropics.

Except today I picked up one of the English-language national papers to find an article regarding the pesticide content of softdrinks. All 52 tested samples of 11 different products from a number of different states contained at least two or three different pesticides. Some contained 25 times the safe limit according to Indian standards (which may or may not be the most stringent in the world, but I know which way I'd bet). Some contained banned pesticides. You know it's got to be a pretty nasty poison when even the insects your trying to kill aren't allowed to drink it. But it's in my Coke.

Now I'm sure there are traces of these things in Australian softdrinks. I like to think that they are way below safe limits and that in a country as well regulated as Australia, food quality is better, but I accept that modern agriculture being what it is, some of this stuff will end up in my food and thus in my stomach.

But given the prevalence and quantity of pesticides outlined in the article, the obvious question is, how the hell did it get into the drinks? If it's in the water, how safe is the bottled water I'm drinking? So now I have the joy of considering dehydration, diarrhea or Diazinon.