Its been far too long...
...since my last confession. October, jeez that is a while. Ahh, I've been busy. Really busy. For those of you who don't know, I'm still sub-continental, and I gotta say, I'm really over it. Most of the time.
Its been a difficult week, but with some success. I've taken over as (Acting) Project Manager for a week while the boss takes a well deserved break. Which means I now get to do the work of three people instead of two. Groovy.
But, as I may have mentioned before, this country is weird. It's some small comfort to know that plenty of Indians find parts of their country strange, but it doesn't really help that much. I sat in a three hour meeting this week, while the client berated us and our Indian sub-contractors (hey, sub-continental sub-contractors, that's vaguely interesting) about the job in general and certain things in particular. So after that grilling about being behind and what our plans were (and weren't) going to achieve, I get asked:
"So, David, when will the Ilmenite section of the plant be ready?"
"If we can get the labour I want and finish the things we discussed, tomorrow. Say, ummm, midday."
"It must be 10 o'clock."
"No, I said midday, its going to be midday."
"No it must be started before midday. Or after..." (consults colleague) "...after 1.30pm."
I pause. I must have a slightly puzzled look on my face. The room is quiet.
"Why? What happens between 12 and 1.30.....wait, let me guess, that is not an auspicious time to start the plant, right."
My voice is slightly incredulous. This is not the first time that this excuse has been offered, but its usually by other contractors who are behind and need some breathing room. I figured it was a cultural smokescreen, to confuse the white men who come here with their vague notions of racial sensitivity.
"Yes. It is not a good time." He is smiling.
I grin, sure he is kidding. Especially after the verbal flambé we just got, he's not pulling that in front of his boss....is he?
"Seriously?"
"Yes," he says, still smiling.
I burst out laughing. The rest of the room follows suit, but its the kind of laugh where they are trying to put me at my ease, but also acknowledging the insanity of the situation.
"Okay," I say, shaking my head, "I am seriously in the wrong bloody country. This is not a place to be an atheist."
Which is true. I've given up trying to explain this to people here. The question of my religion comes up all the time, and after trying to cut it back to the basics ("I don't think that there is a God"), they still can't grasp it. It's like mental sand, they try, but it just kinda slips through and nothing stays behind.
But I will give this to Indian astrologers, they don't fuck around with "today is a good day to buy a pet, maybe poodle". Its more like "during these hours, do nothing new, or it is doomed to failure and will ruin your brothers sex life for the next twelve months". Very specific. And the Indians would (and do) say, its very accurate. But then they aren't the first people to confuse the two.
Yesterday, I got a letter asking us to take all the refined sand we had produced the previous day and put it back on the feed pile, since it was not to specification. Which was true. But since they have the only front-end loaders on site, I would have been reduced to either bucket and spade, or borrowing one of their loaders to do the job. So I suggested that they just do the job and stop giving me letters asking us to do it. To which I was told, it was okay, they had already done it anyway. I didn't even bother to ask the obvious question, at some point the absurdity starts to feel normal and you just shrug your shoulders and think, "Hey, we're in India."
Today was a good day though, we did get the Ilmenite section going, which means, when we get it fine tuned - a thankfully simple and quick process - the client will start making some money again. Not as much as he would like, but about 40 to 50 percent of the overall revenue of the mine. Unfortunately, its now very clear that the remaining two sections, with their comparatively more valuable, if less plentiful, mineral products, will be delayed completion until next year. When next year is the subject of some debate, at least one betting pool and more than a little money to all concerned.
On the way home today, I saw something that neatly summed up the weirdness of India for me. I guy on a bicycle, with a another guy seated on the bike rack behind him, riding one handed while talking on a mobile phone, rode obliviously into the path of our oncoming four wheel drive. We swerved and braked at the last moment to avoid killing them both.
I could have spent days and not come up with a better metaphor for this country.
Its been a difficult week, but with some success. I've taken over as (Acting) Project Manager for a week while the boss takes a well deserved break. Which means I now get to do the work of three people instead of two. Groovy.
But, as I may have mentioned before, this country is weird. It's some small comfort to know that plenty of Indians find parts of their country strange, but it doesn't really help that much. I sat in a three hour meeting this week, while the client berated us and our Indian sub-contractors (hey, sub-continental sub-contractors, that's vaguely interesting) about the job in general and certain things in particular. So after that grilling about being behind and what our plans were (and weren't) going to achieve, I get asked:
"So, David, when will the Ilmenite section of the plant be ready?"
"If we can get the labour I want and finish the things we discussed, tomorrow. Say, ummm, midday."
"It must be 10 o'clock."
"No, I said midday, its going to be midday."
"No it must be started before midday. Or after..." (consults colleague) "...after 1.30pm."
I pause. I must have a slightly puzzled look on my face. The room is quiet.
"Why? What happens between 12 and 1.30.....wait, let me guess, that is not an auspicious time to start the plant, right."
My voice is slightly incredulous. This is not the first time that this excuse has been offered, but its usually by other contractors who are behind and need some breathing room. I figured it was a cultural smokescreen, to confuse the white men who come here with their vague notions of racial sensitivity.
"Yes. It is not a good time." He is smiling.
I grin, sure he is kidding. Especially after the verbal flambé we just got, he's not pulling that in front of his boss....is he?
"Seriously?"
"Yes," he says, still smiling.
I burst out laughing. The rest of the room follows suit, but its the kind of laugh where they are trying to put me at my ease, but also acknowledging the insanity of the situation.
"Okay," I say, shaking my head, "I am seriously in the wrong bloody country. This is not a place to be an atheist."
Which is true. I've given up trying to explain this to people here. The question of my religion comes up all the time, and after trying to cut it back to the basics ("I don't think that there is a God"), they still can't grasp it. It's like mental sand, they try, but it just kinda slips through and nothing stays behind.
But I will give this to Indian astrologers, they don't fuck around with "today is a good day to buy a pet, maybe poodle". Its more like "during these hours, do nothing new, or it is doomed to failure and will ruin your brothers sex life for the next twelve months". Very specific. And the Indians would (and do) say, its very accurate. But then they aren't the first people to confuse the two.
Yesterday, I got a letter asking us to take all the refined sand we had produced the previous day and put it back on the feed pile, since it was not to specification. Which was true. But since they have the only front-end loaders on site, I would have been reduced to either bucket and spade, or borrowing one of their loaders to do the job. So I suggested that they just do the job and stop giving me letters asking us to do it. To which I was told, it was okay, they had already done it anyway. I didn't even bother to ask the obvious question, at some point the absurdity starts to feel normal and you just shrug your shoulders and think, "Hey, we're in India."
Today was a good day though, we did get the Ilmenite section going, which means, when we get it fine tuned - a thankfully simple and quick process - the client will start making some money again. Not as much as he would like, but about 40 to 50 percent of the overall revenue of the mine. Unfortunately, its now very clear that the remaining two sections, with their comparatively more valuable, if less plentiful, mineral products, will be delayed completion until next year. When next year is the subject of some debate, at least one betting pool and more than a little money to all concerned.
On the way home today, I saw something that neatly summed up the weirdness of India for me. I guy on a bicycle, with a another guy seated on the bike rack behind him, riding one handed while talking on a mobile phone, rode obliviously into the path of our oncoming four wheel drive. We swerved and braked at the last moment to avoid killing them both.
I could have spent days and not come up with a better metaphor for this country.
posted by David Brennan + Anne Swart at 8:43 pm
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